Dining Alone: It's Really Not So Scary

The question was raised this week whether I'd ever eaten anywhere alone (not at home). And the answer is "yes". I have eaten alone and not just as a single girl.

To be honest, I think I've eaten alone more times while in my last relationship than I do now. Now I have my family and girlfriends to dine out with, and I don't have plans, I eat at home. Occasionally for lunch do I eat alone. But then, I do out of necessity. Sometimes you just need alone time, especially when you work in a five person office the size of your bedroom. That's just what happens when your staff grows faster than the physical office. It's not a bad thing; we are busy. Good thing we all get along so well.

But as I get older, I think I value my "me time" more and more. I don't feel like my world stops when I'm by myself. And I certainly don't feel awkward about eating alone in public.

I do sort of have one guideline, which is if I am at a restaurant with a bar, I always opt to sit there over taking up a table. I patronize the bartender; I don't waste the servers' time with my party of one. These people rely on tips to live.

I sit here at Central Market thinking about the different occasions I've dined alone and how it really isn't embarrassing like I once thought. When I was much younger, I thought being alone meant that people would think I didn't have any friends or that something was wrong with me, even  if I did and even if there wasn't. But today I'm sitting alone as I write this. I am sitting at a table by the Roburrito's truck because I just ate a Burritodilla. Yum. Before that, I was sitting alone at the Jr.'s Fries counter eating fried pickles (which I recommend). But I don't feel like people are staring or judging. And I suppose if they are, then screw them. I don't have time to worry about that.  Everyone needs their alone time and I guess I'm just happy to have mine with some good food.

Cooking with Love: Cooking for One

One of the greatest joys I get out of life comes from feeding people I care about. If I care about you, you can probably assume I either have already or am planning to feed you at some point.

More recently, I spent much of my cooking time feeding my boyfriend, his family, or my family. But most of the time was dedicated to cooking for the two of us, planning meals, grocery shopping, and cooking.

After we broke up, I was faced with a number of new challenges including finding my own place, living alone for the first time, paying all my own living expenses, and (God help us all) facing being single and dating again. Scary stuff. But one of the challenges I didn't consider was feeding myself.

How do I feed myself without cooking enough for a family or living on frozen dinners (which I absolutely will not do)? Sure I can eat chicken nuggets, cereal, or pizza, but none of these are really very good solutions. It is certain that if I do not figure out the answer to this dilemma, I will die a slow and painful death of preservatives, junk food, and a dusty kitchen.

It got me wondering, how do my other friends do it? What do they do? Some of them don't cook (not an option for me). Some of them do cook, but it scares me. And some of them may be onto something by cooking for their non-cooking friends who would otherwise be destined to live on MTO.

I can't stand not to cook. I love food. I love being in the kitchen. And I love all my pans, gadgets, utensils, and bakeware too much to let them just collect dust. I refuse to stop being able to cook all those great meals that I love just because I am only feeding myself. Looking ahead, I think this could be an interesting project, Single Girl Cooking.

And, on the positive side, at least I won't have to cook Hamburger Helper any more.

Hello, 2013!

2012 was definitely an adventure for me. I enjoyed having many new experiences like changing jobs, gaining new friends, visiting Vegas for the first time, getting into better shape, and moving into my own place.

I've also been through some more difficult times but always try to keep in mind I can learn something from everything. I tend to believe things happen for a reason, although the reasons do not always present themselves to us  in the most digestible and visible ways. We don't always like the things that happen and we don't always want to learn the lessons. But the thing is that we don't have control over everything that happens in our lives, but we do have the choice to learn the lessons and become a better person or ignore the lessons and continue to make the same mistakes.

So what do you want out of 2013?

I'm not one to make New Year's resolutions. I think they are dumb because January 1st isn't the only time to start something new or make decisions about improving your life. But I do believe it is a good time to reflect on your life and what you want. There is something about a new year that is refreshing, a new start. Not only that, but there is a feeling of leaving things behind from the old year, moving forward, accepting your mistakes as mistakes, and putting those sad, angry or embarrassing moments behind you.

So what do I want?

• I want to make the most out of having my own place for the very first time in my life.

• I want to write more. I always say I'd like to, and I never make the time for it, but that is about enough of that. No more excuses. As a blogger, I don't consider myself an actual "writer". I have plenty of English major and Journalism friends who are very talented, and I am in no way near the writer any of them are.

• I want to make decisions about my life. Not decisions about if I want regular or decaf coffee or Sheetz vs. Rutters. I want to make decisions about what I want and what is important to me to be genuinely happy and content with my life.

• I want to master cooking for one.

This post wasn't about food or cooking or recipes for my favorite dessert. But I think it is nice to share a little about myself every so often. Maybe it will help you identify with me and bring you back to reading more often (as long as I keep writing).

Kimchi Experiment

If you're familiar with Korean food, you're well aware of the ever-popular staple food kimchi. Consider it the Korean french fries - a side of it comes with everything. Plus it's used as a main ingredient in a number of dishes like bibimbap and kimchichigae.

Yes, I do have a Hello Kitty toaster.

Kimchi tastes different depending on who made it (how it was prepared) and how old it is. You can eat it the day you make it (I don't think many people do) or a year later! It's designed to ferment, so it has a pretty good shelf life as long as you take care with storing it.

Most often it is made with cabbage, but you can make it with moo (Korean version of daikon) or even spring onion. Although cabbage kimchi is the most popular and widely used version. Even Korean schools serve it for lunch to kids of all ages. It can be made spicy or mild, and the recipe changes depending on who makes it. I've seen recipes made a number of different ways - from boiling the "sauce", to using seafood, blending your ingredients, etc.

As a fan of kimchi and a Korean woman, I decided it was time I give making it on my own a try. I read through no less than ten to twenty different recipes, trying to decide which would work best for me. I was looking for something fairly simple and one that used ingredients I would be able to find here in my hometown - land of the Pennsylvania Dutch, Amish, and pot roast. I decided upon a no- boil recipe I could make in my blender. All the ingredients could be blended and poured over the prepared cabbage.

After I had the batch completed, I felt pretty darn proud of myself. I had two mason jars full of cabbage and daikon kimchi. It smelled about right. I sealed the lids tightly, wrapped them in plastic wrap, and rubbernanded the plastic wrap around the kids (just in case). If you've never experienced kimchi, one thing you should know is that it has its own distinct smell. That smell will escape and take over your refrigerator if you aren't careful. I live in a one bedroom apartment with a small refrigerator, so I wanted to be very careful.

So here it sits. My kimchi. My first attempt at what is one of the cornerstones of Korean cuisine. I'm scared to open the jars. I can't work up the courage to even give it a whiff. What if it's terrible? What if I make absolutely horrible kimchi? This is what I fear, even more than the smell taking over my fridge. It has been at least six or seven weeks now, and I look at it every day. My boyfriend, who is currently away with the Army, will come home next Friday. He is quite excited to eat Asian food again and even more excited that one of those items will be kimchi. I'm hoping together we can give it a try! He is convinced it will be good. Until then, it seems like it's mocking me from its metal shelf in the middle of the refrigerator. "Hey, don't you want to try me?"