My First Tea with Strangers - Stanza Coffee

Image: teawithstrangers.com

Since we moved to San Francisco I've been trying to find a way to get out and meet new people. What I'm learning is that most of the people I've met have an interesting story, whether they've just moved here from [insert any place here] or have lived here for 20+ years.

I was lucky enough to catch a tweet that mentioned something called Tea with Strangers. What caught my attention was the idea of meeting people over a cup of coffee or tea as opposed to a beer in a bar. Sure, I like grabbing a beer and chatting, but sitting down with a cup of coffee or tea is a different experience, one that is probably more my style.

The idea for Tea with Strangers was started here in San Francisco and is currently operating in Princeton and Miami with plans to start in DC, Boston, NYC, LA, Chicago, UPenn, Portland, Seattle and Palo Alto. So if you're not based in San Francisco, you might still get your chance to grab a cup with some people you've never met.

I signed up for a local tea at Stanza Coffee (16th and Valencia, Mission), a local shop I've passed by but never stopped into.

There were six people including a facilitator who helped get the conversation rolling. We met out on the back patio, where we talked for two hours about who we are, where we're from, our parents, careers, hobbies, apartment living, hiking in San Francisco, vegetarian food...etc. What was interesting about this group was that we were all very different people, but four of us lived or grew up in the Northeast. Two of us have had the joy of driving on I-83.

I discovered a new hiking spot I want to try soon.

I learned about Emperor Norton.

It was a well-spent two hours of my afternoon, and I'd be happy to invest time into another tea time. The atmosphere was casual. It wasn't a job interview. It wasn't a work-promoted networking event. It was an easy way to meet new people that only costs a few dollars. If you like talking to strangers, this just might be for you.

Check Them Out: teawithstrangers.com

PAtoSF Chapter 5: The Other Relationship

As you’ve probably already read one of our main concerns with the move to San Francisco was moving the pets from a spacious house to a junior studio apartment. When I moved in with my bf in December, Stella had never lived with another pet and Leela had never lived with another pet (especially a cat). I don’t think either had any previous interaction with the other species, so the integration was pretty rough. We let Stella have the safety of the second floor, protected by a baby gate and a flight of stairs.

It went something like:

Stella peeks her head out from hiding. Leela runs toward her with 200% enthusiasm. Stella bolts. Leela whines, paces and jumps around. Continue on and off every 20-30 minutes.

By April Stella had figured out that she was safe behind rails on the stairs but decided to start venturing out when she thought Leela wasn’t paying attention. They still weren’t very keen on the idea of being in a room together - at least Stella wasn’t. She could have cared less about Leela, but Leela wanted to play. If you have a cat, you know how cats are with that. Everything is on their terms.

Some of their landmark points were chronicled on Instagram under #stellameetsleela. Here is the latest.

They, somehow, survived the journey in a van together, trekking across the country from Pennsylvania to California in less than a week. From what I understand, Leela was thrilled to be along for the longest car ride of her life, and Stella eventually got brave (or bored) enough to stop using her litterbox as a bunker.

The bf and I made it to the new apartment a day ahead of the pets, which was extremely helpful in getting some rest and strategizing about set up. I was relieved to see our kitchen would be the perfect spot for Stella to hide out in. There was enough space on top of the refrigerator for her to have food and water, and there was a nice gap above the cabinets to set up a bed. I knew for a fact that she would love being able to walk around on top of the cabinets, not to mention look out the huge window.

We knew Leela would be satisfied to make herself at home in the living area. She spends most of her days sleeping on the bed.

It took them about a month, but they have finally figured out how their relationship will work. Leela got calm enough to slowly approach Stella, and Stella got ballsy enough to come down and check things out. They aren’t snuggling up together or anything, but they can play and stand in the same room without any sort of major freak out (mostly). 

Leela spends most of her day napping...

So much sleeps.

Stella is keeping an eye on all the neighbors.

Neighborhood watch.

And occasionally they get a very nice moment together!

Stunned.

Have you integrated a cat and dog? How did it go? What was your strategy?

PAtoSF Chapter 4: The Purge

The living room the Thursday before we left

The thought of packing up your life is an intimidating one. The thought of trying to squeeze it into a studio apartment on the other side of the country with someone else's life is a whole other ballgame.

For those of you who don't know, my boyfriend and I lived in a four bedroom house in the suburbs. It had a full basement and two-car garage, a yard and a deck. 

Leaving early Sunday morning

We recently moved into a studio apartment with no garage (but we don't have a car), no deck (unless you count the stairs to the trashcans), and no living room (sort of). But we seriously scored in the apartment game.

If you'd like the tour of our apartment, here it is.

The entryway: closet, front door, heater, bathroom door

The bedroom/office/living room/ dining room (and Leela)

The kitchen (and Stella)

We also have an apartment-sized bathroom (not shown).

So how did we do it?

First of all, we seriously underestimated the amount of time it would take to clear out the house and pack up what we needed. But who doesn't? No one realizes exactly how much stuff they have. We are definitely thankful to have friends and family who helped us along the way - from buying things from us to selling things for us to moving furniture, transporting pets, clearing out the garbage, landscaping, painting, etc.

That being said, we made it out with what we needed - our pets, some clothes, most of my kitchen items, his technology stuff, and a Festivus pole (also his). 

Stella's living quarters for her trip to CA

Leela in the backseat and Stella in her crate ready for the cross-country ride
(I'm sorry you can see cat poop)

I ended up donating about 20 trash bags worth of items (mostly clothes) to the local collection bin, and the bf ended up donating many things to the local veteran's organization. Everything else got left behind to meet its fate.

Luckily both our families agreed to store some things for us for the time when we will most likely upgrade to a bigger place or discover we actually have space for a few more things. For example, my dish set is for eight settings, but I only brought enough for four. We also only brought 2 mugs, 2 tumblers, 1 wine glass and 4 rocks glasses.

You see, we had never actually seen our apartment before we moved in. We hadn't even officially signed the lease until we arrived. So you can see how there could be questions as to how much we could bring with us.

Today I'm writing from the bed, which is just a mattress (our bed frame and table won't arrive until next week) in the main living room of the apartment. Looking around, I think we did a good job estimating how much we would need and what would fit in this very downsized space. Though it is a little disorganized right now (we are still organizing), I think there will easily be a place for everything without cluttering up the space.

It was a good exercise to unload so many things and start small again. It makes you think about your lifestyle and your possessions and what you really need (and why you have everything else). It's sort of like the spring cleaning everyone says they'll do but few actually execute.

We got lucky.

We're fortunate to have good friends and caring families. We found a prime apartment in our first choice neighborhood. None of our luggage or packages got lost in transit. All my luggage got lost on my moves both to and from South Dakota. That's not fun. Our pets are loving life and getting along, and I can safely say we are both happy to be here, too!

PAtoSF Chapter 3: We Found a Place

The hunt is over!

Thanks to a friend, we finally found an affordable apartment in a good location. As with many places, there are good apartments in good locations (usually expensive), good apartments in bad locations (sketchyyy), and bad apartments in good locations (still expensive). The difference is in San Francisco, a small apartment in a good location could mean 375 square feet for $2,395 per month. Ouch. Kind of hurts just to read it.

If rent is so high, why not buy, you ask?

A 3,048 square foot building, which needs renovations, just sold for $3.801M. That was $1.706M more than the asking price. MORE. If you don't believe me, check out sf.curbed.com or livelovely.com. I just saw a 2 bedroom, 1 bathroom apartment for somewhere around $6500 per month. Not even kidding.

The apartment we found is a one-bedroom apartment, somewhere around 500-600 square feet with a bedroom, bathroom, and kitchen/living area. Of course it isn't the ideal amount of space for 2 adults and 2 animals, but it certainly isn't bad for the amount we'll be paying.

We aren't anticipating spending most of our waking hours in our apartment anyway. With so many places that are walkable and the typical San Francisco nice weather, it becomes a much different situation than having that space in PA, where you have to drive most places and the weather can be rather nasty.

We'll be making the most of the space we do have, especially for storage/organization. Beds with drawers underneath, IKEA closets, organizers, and wall space will all become our best friends very soon.

If you have any suggestions on ways to optimize space, I'm happy to hear them!

PAtoSF Chapter 2: A Vet for Stella

Taken May 2014

In preparation for the move, I decided it was important to get my cat, Stella, microchipped. Stella was a stray kitten an ex-boyfriend and I rescued on a hot summer day. She was just a little thing, alone, hungry and hot. We took her in, fed her, got rid of her fleas, and eventually got her spayed. I've had her for nearly 3 years now, and she'll make the move with us to San Francisco in a few weeks. 

Will she hate the move? Probably. She hates the car. Hates the car. But other than that, she'll adjust well as long as there's windows. She is very nosy.

The idea of bringing her on a plane is really not one I'd like to consider. If I could magically teleport her to San Francisco, that would be ideal, except that doesn't exist. So the best option is most likely going to be to use pet transport service, where she'll take a car ride over the course of a few days.

I figured this was a good opportunity for her to get in for her first vet visit, get updated on immunizations and get her microchip. I asked Twitter friends for recommendations and ended up going with one I recognized as being fairly nearby.

Let me tell you, I am a very nervous cat mom.

If there's one thing I'm particularly good at, it's being anxious. More specifically, I'm very good at being anxious about things that really do not call for it. For example, I'm not nervous about flying or the actual move to San Francisco. But I imagined Stella's first vet visit to be a nightmare. What if she bites the vet? What if she pees in my car? What if she has a reaction to the shots? What if she escapes from her carrier in my car then escapes from my car? I don't know. We all worry about something.

The car ride to the vet could have gone better. She cried, but I'm pretty sure she has no clue how the car works. She also, isn't a huge fan of being in her carrier. But once we arrived, she was as calm as can be and became instantly interested in the chirping birds and the duck trying to waddle around the waiting room.

Stella hanging out in the waiting room

Once it was time for her appointment, the nurse called us into a room and carefully shut the door. I opened the carrier and Stella popped out, really to check out everything in the room. The nurse was very pleasant and let Stella wander around the room as we discussed the reason for the visit and any past medical issues, etc.

Being very curious, smelling everything

Once the veterinarian arrived, she brought the same nurse and an observing student. They offered Stella a few cat treats at which point Stella thought it appropriate to hiss at the treats. She was not about to be bribed. Since Stella didn't want the treats, they sat her on a towel on the table and did regular check-uppy things like listen to her heart, check her teeth, etc. Stella didn't fight or hiss or bite. She was very well behaved.

The vet gave Stella her 4 in 1 shot. The rabies shot was not available due to a recent run on rabies shots locally. Then they took her and her carrier into the back to give her the microchip, which is the size of a grain of rice and implanted between her shoulder blades. Stella's is registered with HomeAgain.

If you're a pet lover or like a good story, you can check out some of HomeAgain's Found Pet Stories.

She was brought back in her carrier promptly by the nurse who asked if I had any remaining questions. I inquired about the move and transporting her, expressed my concern about her utter dislike of road travel. The vet prescribed a mild sedative that could be given to Stella up to twice a day during her transport. The sedative wouldn't knock her out but just ease her stress so that the trip would be a little more enjoyable and less frightening.

Our final bill was $113 - including the $40 vet visit, the 4 in 1 shot, the microchip, and the sedatives.

I left relieved but happy it all went so well. No one got bit. The staff was very friendly. Stella didn't seem bothered. The building didn't implode (anxious people worry about crazy things), and my bank account didn't take a hard hit to get a good experience.

If you haven't taken your cat to see a vet or are worried about the experience, all I can say is do a little research first. Find out what you need and don't be afraid to ask questions. In all honesty, you're probably a lot more nervous than your pet!

PAtoSF Chapter 1: Problems in the Bedroom (Not That Kind)

Photo taken: September 2013

An important part of my blog is letting people get a glimpse into my life. It isn't just food and recipes and pretty pictures. It's about the experiences I've had with food, how they're connected to who I am, and sharing that with you.

So I've decided to start a new addition to korea_has_seoul, PAtoSF.

Early this year my boyfriend and I made the decision to venture to San Francisco together, not for vacation but as a permanent move (or as permanent as moving gets). A little backstory here. My boyfriend has spent quite a bit of time in San Francisco. In fact, when we first started dating, he was just getting ready to head off to San Francisco for a full month. Most of our first month of getting to know each other happened from different coasts.

While I had visited California a few times in the past, I hadn't had the chance to spend any time in San Francisco until this past September when I spent a week there. Let me tell you, a week isn't nearly enough time to eat all the food.

When the opportunity to switch coasts presented itself, we decided to take it.

So here we are.

If you know anything about San Francisco, it's probably that the rent is too damn high. I'm not kidding. The rent is pretty high because good real estate is extremely valuable. For example, we could rent a 1-2 bedroom apartment in San Francisco for the same cost we could mortgage two houses here in Pennsylvania. Think I'm joking?

Needless to say, we will be downsizing from the 4 bedroom house to a 1 bedroom apartment. We're getting rid of basically all the furniture - bed, couches, tvs, etc. - and repurchasing what will fit in the new digs once we arrive.

Now the bed we're currently using is from IKEA, which I have no problem with. However, in case you haven't heard, IKEA is pretty notoriously known for tricky assembly. The bed's mattress is supported with a major beam and some wood slats, which are next to impossible. Part of the bed was already broken but the boyfriend fixed it with some 2x4s. Until last night.

We had stayed up late catching up on The Blacklist episodes but decided to call it a night around 12:30 a.m. We were getting into bed when BOOM, and the middle of the bed suddenly took a dip.

"I have to fix this," the boyfriend said.

My response was, "Can't it wait until tomorrow?"

But I was wrong. This was the perfect time for sawing some new 2x4s and readjusting the bed. Or it would have been if it was fixable, which we didn't figure out for about 15 more minutes - after the boyfriend tore the mattress off, and we spent 10 minutes trying to readjust the wood slats.

As I watched the boyfriend try new solutions, I wondered why we lived in a house with two beds and were up at 1 a.m. trying to fix IKEA furniture. But I guess there's no time like the present.

Finally, it was clear. The bed could not be fixed. The boyfriend tore the bed apart and tossed the mattress back down inside the frame. It looks like we sleep in a sandbox now. It really wasn't all that uncomfortable except for the time when the boyfriend kicked his shin into the frame in the middle of the night.

Luckily, we'll be moving in a few weeks and we were planning to throw the bed away anyway. So for now, we sleep in a sandbox on the floor, but I guess we're one step closer to the West Coast (and a new bed).